"You Don't Look Sick"
Ashely: "Becky! Oh my gosh you look so good! You don't LOOK like you're sick".
Ashely: "Becky why do you have to use a cane? You LOOK fine".
Ashely: "Amber, we need to stop hanging out with Becky. She's not a good look for us. She's cramping our style".
MS is not contagious. You're not going to get cooties. Why do people with MS get treated like they have leprosy?
I've come to realize the level of care and concern people have for those with chronic diseases. If you get a cold people want to bring you chicken noodle soup. But if you have a lifelong, chronic disease people don't want to stick around for the long haul. It's like that person has become a burden. I've watched my mom loose friends and family members over her diagnosis. People who were once there for her turned their back on her. She still has people in her life that say they're for her, but that's all a show. They don't show up when she needs them the most. I believe some of them became embarrassed and ashamed to be seen in public with her. They didn't want to be seen with someone who used a cane, walker, or wheelchair. They didn't want to be seen with someone who didn't fit society's ideal of "normal" You know, they have a reputation to uphold.
It used to bother me how people felt towards my mom and her diagnosis. I used to get mad about how they could just abandon her when she needed them the most. But now I am actually glad they feel that way. I don't need people like that in our life. I don't have time for drama, games, or competitions. You'll either be here for us or not. I won't force you. I won't beg. I won't plead.
"You look fine" or "you don't look like you have MS" is thrown around A LOT. Well you don't look stupid, so looks can be deceiving.
You know what else someone who has MS doesn't want to hear? "You NEED to try this" or "you NEED to do that". First, back up with the preaching. Preaching doesn't work in our books. Second, do you have MS? No, I didn't think so. So how do you know what she's SUPPOSED to be doing. Third, did you ever stop to think she already tried it? Of course you didn't. You were to busy being righteous and the know-it-all. This isn't a one-size fits all disease. What works for one person may not work for the next. Is it a good idea to try those ideas/suggestions? Possibly. It depends on the situation. Depend on a persons medical history. Preaching to someone though is not going to help. It's only going to push them away even further. How about instead of preaching to her, you just offer her support. Ask her "do you need anything" or tell her "I'm here if you need me". Those go a lot further than preaching does.
I've realized that the things people say and do is not because of something you did. It's about their own insecurity or selfishness. Some people just suck.
Newsflash Ashely and Amber! Becky doesn't want to hang out with you either!
Ashely: "Becky why do you have to use a cane? You LOOK fine".
Ashely: "Amber, we need to stop hanging out with Becky. She's not a good look for us. She's cramping our style".
MS is not contagious. You're not going to get cooties. Why do people with MS get treated like they have leprosy?
I've come to realize the level of care and concern people have for those with chronic diseases. If you get a cold people want to bring you chicken noodle soup. But if you have a lifelong, chronic disease people don't want to stick around for the long haul. It's like that person has become a burden. I've watched my mom loose friends and family members over her diagnosis. People who were once there for her turned their back on her. She still has people in her life that say they're for her, but that's all a show. They don't show up when she needs them the most. I believe some of them became embarrassed and ashamed to be seen in public with her. They didn't want to be seen with someone who used a cane, walker, or wheelchair. They didn't want to be seen with someone who didn't fit society's ideal of "normal" You know, they have a reputation to uphold.
It used to bother me how people felt towards my mom and her diagnosis. I used to get mad about how they could just abandon her when she needed them the most. But now I am actually glad they feel that way. I don't need people like that in our life. I don't have time for drama, games, or competitions. You'll either be here for us or not. I won't force you. I won't beg. I won't plead.
"You look fine" or "you don't look like you have MS" is thrown around A LOT. Well you don't look stupid, so looks can be deceiving.
You know what else someone who has MS doesn't want to hear? "You NEED to try this" or "you NEED to do that". First, back up with the preaching. Preaching doesn't work in our books. Second, do you have MS? No, I didn't think so. So how do you know what she's SUPPOSED to be doing. Third, did you ever stop to think she already tried it? Of course you didn't. You were to busy being righteous and the know-it-all. This isn't a one-size fits all disease. What works for one person may not work for the next. Is it a good idea to try those ideas/suggestions? Possibly. It depends on the situation. Depend on a persons medical history. Preaching to someone though is not going to help. It's only going to push them away even further. How about instead of preaching to her, you just offer her support. Ask her "do you need anything" or tell her "I'm here if you need me". Those go a lot further than preaching does.
I've realized that the things people say and do is not because of something you did. It's about their own insecurity or selfishness. Some people just suck.
Newsflash Ashely and Amber! Becky doesn't want to hang out with you either!
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